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For me, taking care of kids trumps every other responsibility that I have! If the only thing I do in a day is make sure that my kids are well taken care of, it’s a successful day!
There is no way for you to do it all when it comes to kids! But focusing on what is important to you, and working on those things will help your kids learn to do it all for themselves! You can’t force a kid to sleep, eat, or use the bathroom, but you can teach them to do it themselves. And trust me that’s the better choice!
Today we will be going a little further into taking care of kids, and the things that I like to focus on! I will be going over three sections that are important to me!
Physical Wellbeing
It has always been important to me to teach my children the importance of taking care of their bodies!
Getting Ready Each Day
Every morning we wake up and the kids have a routine to get ready! They are expected to get dressed, and brush teeth and hair. Sometimes this is a feat to behold!
For my sons whole third year of life he literally lived in pajamas, because it wasn’t worth the power struggle with him. But you can bet his hair was done and his teeth were brushed! Just do what you can, and continue to teach!
But as my kids have gotten older, and they have continued to have that expectation, they are learning! They know that when we wake up we get ready for the day!
It has been fun to watch my four year old son this summer start wanting to do his own hair. And guess what? He’s gotten pretty good at it! And now that he can do it on his own, it’s important to him to have it done! In addition, he feels really proud that he can get ready on his own! And that’s one for the win in my book!
Keeping Bodies Healthy
Beyond how my kids look, it’s important to teach them how to keep their bodies healthy! We try to keep a balance with our kids of being a kid, and also learning to eat well. When they ask for a snack, we have a variety of options for them to choose from, so that they can learn to make a good choice.
You better believe we have let them each candy until they’re sick to their stomach. And learning that lesson has been a better teacher than I ever could have been.
It can be a serious battle to get them to look decent and eat well. But when you let them feel like they have a little control, and choices, they will learn how to make choices based on what’s important to them!
If your kids are little right now, try to train and teach them and as they get older they’ll surprise you! While it may be a lot of work right now, you’re helping out your future self to help them gain good habits, and see the importance of taking care of their bodies!
Teaching Responsibility
Let’s be honest, we could right a whole blog about how to teach kids to be responsible. So I’m not naive to the fact that we won’t cover it all. But I want to just touch on some points.
If you teach your kids to be responsible now, it will help you out in the future.
Teach Responsibility through chores
As we discussed in the previous section about managing a home, we have our kids help us tidy up twice a day. We also have them help us clean the house, and work in the yard!
As they have become accustomed to cleaning, they are more aware when something is messy! And more likely to help! They have learned for themselves that they like living in a clean and tidy home. Need help figuring out age appropriate chores, check out our Kids Chores Pinterest Board!
Teach Responsibility through natural consequences
When it comes to homework, we struggle! My daughter is distracted by everything around her, and it takes 10x longer to get her 1 page math page done than it should. So after months of constantly badgering her to get it done, I let her take the fall for not doing it. And guess what? She started focusing when it was time to do homework, because it mattered to her!
Sometimes in order to teach responsibility, we need to let our kids face natural consequences. We try to rescue our kids from things that are going to hurt them. But if they can learn the concept of consequences with little mistakes, maybe they won’t make as many big mistakes as they get older!
My siblings are great parents, and being one of the youngest in my family, I’ve watched them raise their families. It’s so rewarding as the aunt to see how responsible my nieces and nephews have become even as teenagers! But we can’t start teaching responsibility to kids as teenagers. It’s something that has to be taught from the time they’re young.
Helping them feel secure and loved
I’ve said it before, but I really struggled as a kid. I had a huge personality, and a really hard time expressing that! But the one thing I always knew was that my parents loved me, and it made the biggest difference in how I turned out.
Sometimes it can be really hard to show love when we are so frustrated, and upset with our kids. But of all things we do as a parent, this is probably the most important thing we could do for our children.
Because of my childhood, (and a great parenting class my parents took) there are a lot of things I experienced that contributed to making me feel loved. As well as things I have learned from being a parent.
Look in their eyes
For small children, it’s so important to look into their eyes. I remember when my son was about 2 he came up and was trying to tell me something, and I was doing something on my computer. He grabbed my face a pulled me down to look at him. I realized that while I was half-way listening to him, it was pathetic that anything was more important than really looking into his eyes.
I have tried really hard to focus on my children, and look them in the eyes when they’re speaking with me. Put the phone down, and really look into their eyes when they talk to you! This is especially important when they’re being difficult, try to look into their eyes, and really engage with them through eye contact!
Get on their level
Getting down on their level is a game changer! If you have ever crawled around on the floor and see a kids perspective adults are huge!! If you can get down on their level more, whether it’s playing games, talking through something, or just to hug them, it can make a huge difference.
Talk about them positively
Kids have a way of living up to the expectations you give them! So if they always overhear you talking about what a terrible kid they are, well guess what? They’ll be a terrible kid! On the flip side if they hear you talking about their successes, even little, they’ll strive to be that person!
Be careful how you talk about your kids, even as an adult, it’s hard to hear people talk about what a bad kid I was. Because that’s not who I am today. I’m sure you want the best for your kids, and a little self-fulfilling prophecy is a good way to help them create their best life!
Say I love you and find ways to show it
Say I love you everyday and then show that you love them everyday! It’s important to actually say I love you to your kids. My mom still tells me she loves me every time we hang up the phone. And it’s still important for me to hear that. But it’s more important to show it!
I try to make the effort to find simple ways to serve my kids to show them I love them. Simple things, like making their bed, a little note, cleaning up a toy, or making their favorite thing for dinner. But these little ways show them, that not only does mom say I love you, but she shows it!
When kids feel loved, it will help them through the challenges and struggles they have.
The ultimate goal
So you want to do it all as a parent? Well the way to to that is to help your children learn to do it on their own!
Teach them the importance of taking care of their bodies. Help them learn the importance of being responsible as kids, so they’re responsible as teenagers and adults!
And most importantly always make sure they feel secure and know you love them! This last piece of advice, is the hardest and most important! How do you do it all as a mom? Well you love your kids, and make sure they feel it!
Check out the the other posts in this series!
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